The Book bans himself from 'The Masked Singer,' quits show on bizarre Season 11 premiere
Host Nick Cannon threw the book at the Book for "ruining the freakin’ show" and giving the "worst performance ever!"
This week, The Masked Singer premiere went to 11 — Season 11, that is — with a truly Spinal Tap-esque wardrobe malfunction. After the Book warbled a sickly rendition of Ne-Yo’s “So Sick,” he did absolutely nothing by the book, instead breaking out of his binding and “accidentally” revealing his identity.
This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Linda “Scarecrow” Blair and Mickey “Gremlin” Rourke also bizarrely unmasked themselves in their respective seasons. But this time, host Nick Cannon told the Book — who turned out to be prankster Kevin Hart — that he’d “ruined the freakin’ show” with the “worst performance ever” on The Masked Singer.
The library was definitely open Wednesday, as Nick and Kevin then exchanged insults in front of the confused crowd. “You're breaking the rules. What are you doing?” yelled Nick when Kevin removed his Book cover before the end of the night.
“Oh, this is a prank. You had no idea. You had no idea that I was coming here, Nick. And guess what, Nick? Guess what? It's nothing you can do about it!” barked Kevin — who claimed he’d “performed bad on purpose,” even though when Nick forced him to sing a “So Sick” reprise as the credits rolled, he sounded pretty much the same. I must admit, Kevin’s stunt was funny, even if it robbed viewers of the fun of a climactic big reveal.
Anyway, on to the actual serious premiere — well, serious by Masked Singer standards — which marked the debut of the real Group A contestants and of new judge Rita Ora, who’s temporarily filling in for Nicole Scherzinger. Of course, Rita isn’t really new to The Masked Singer. She’s fresh off five consecutive seasons the U.K. version of the show, on which her gimmick is hollering “WHO ARE YOU???” in a bloody-exasperated tone while the British eliminees take what feels like 10 minutes to grapple with their headpieces. (This week, Rita cold-opened the U.S. premiere episode by singing that musical question, performing the familiar Who classic that plays during all of the series’ protracted unmaskings).
Incidentally, The Masked Singer U.K. is a quite credible addition to the Masked franchise, with past celebrity cosplayers memorably including Lulu, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Keane’s Tom Chaplin, CeeLo Green, Kelis, Skunk Anansie’s Skin, Richie Sambora, Charlotte Church, A-ha’s Morten Harket (warbling A-ha’s own “Take on Me” in a Norwegian Viking costume and still going unrecognized!), Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears trilling Kate Bush’s “Babooshka” in a high-heeled Unicorn unitard, and past champs Joss Stone and Natalie Imbruglia. The British series even set the stage for last season’s American winner, the above-mentioned Ne-Yo, who before competing as the Cow was known across the pond as the Badger, runner-up to Joss “The Sausage” Stone. (Yes, that’s right: Joss appeared on ITV dressed up as newspaper-swathed street meat. Blimey.)
Anyway, Rita lost most of her cred after developing a multiple-episode crush on Masked Singer U.K. contestant the Chameleon… because she appeared utterly crestfallen when that lounge lizard turned out to be the Darkness frontman Justin Hawkins, who apparently isn’t her type. Justin Hawkins is one of the coolest people in all of England, or really on the entire planet, and he should be everyone’s type. So, Rita’s disappointment made her seem totally uncool. Eh, her loss.
But I digress. Now Rita has arrived Stateside to redeem herself and fill in for regular judge Nicole (who in some sort of Masked Singer exchange program is actually now in England, starring in a West End production of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Sunset Boulevard). We will soon find out if Rita’s U.S. guessing track record is as good as Nicole’s, as this season’s 16 mystery celebrities compete. But this week, due to Kevin’s prank, she didn’t get that chance. Rita didn’t get to judge the Book by its cover (song).
All righty. Let the guessing games — and my terrible, costume-specific puns — begin!
Goldfish, “Vampire”
Kicking off Season 11 with this divaliciously dramatic and campy tour de force, the Goldfish bowled everyone over. The judges nicknamed this gilded/gilled girl “G.Lo,” and Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg was already predicting that the Goldfish would swim “all the way to the finals.” This fish was serving!
The clues: Goldfish “was a splash overnight,” but all that success and fame made her feel like she was “living in a fishbowl.” So, she “decided to dive into deeper, darker, edgier waters.” Visual clues included a jar of Valentine candies, a glass slipper, two lipstick prints, and a gold record (which indicated that she’s a hit pop artist). “Gold is my lucky color,” the femme fish burbled.
Judges’ guesses: Hilary Duff, Lucy Hale, Lea Michele, Selena Gomez, Carly Rae Jepsen.
My guess: It seems obvious — probably too obvious, this early in the season — so some of these Goldfish clues might be more like red herrings. Regardless, I’m taking the show’s fish bait… because this really does seem to be Christina Perri. The Goldfish’s distinctively bubbly tone sounds like Christina’s (compare her Masked Singer vocal to her recent Christmas song); that “Vampire” cover could be a cute nod to Twilight; Christina has a single called “Burning Gold” and has recorded the Cinderella song “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes”; and her output has indeed gotten Goth-ier since her breakout on So You Think You Can Dance with “Jar of Hearts.” And, oh yeah — one of this week’s clues was a jar of hearts. Like I said, it all seems overly obvious. But I am sticking with Christina for now.
Starfish, “Material Girl”
This particular fish looked more like a Gremlin (not the Mickey Rourke kind) or a Furby, or, if I’m keeping with a marine theme, maybe like Left Shark. But she was definitely bubbly and buoyant, with Robin Thicke calling her “easily one of the most lovable characters ever” on the show, if not the most vocally gifted. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m in love with a starfish,” Rita gushed. (Sorry, Chameleon U.K. — you’ve really have been replaced.)
The clues: This self-declared “rich sugarmama” used to serve steaks to the stars, rubbing shoulders with famous customers like Steve Martin and Whitney Houston, but she eventually landed the “gig of a lifetime” that made her an international star herself. Last year alone, she racked up “50 billion” streams. Visual clues included an Irish four-leaf clover, a ragdoll, and “PA’s sunscreen.”
Judges’ guesses: Catherine O’Hara, Cheri Oteri, Molly Shannon.
My guess: The Starfish is definitely a famous funny lady, but I think she’s the original MILF mama, Jennifer Coolidge. In the ‘80s, Jennifer used to wait tables (alongside another then-unknown actress, Sandra Bullock) at the ritzy Italian steakhouse Castanel’s; American Pie made her a sudden sensation; and she was on a Two Broke Girls episode titled “And the Look of the Irish.” But the biggest tip-off that the Starfish is Stifler’s mom is that “50 billion” factoid: Jennifer’s 2023 Super Bowl ad campaign for e.l.f. cosmetics garnered that many impressive impressions, according to Ad Age.
Ugly Sweater, “The Best”
After making a brilliant entrance to Weezer’s “Undone (The Sweater Song),” this wild ‘n’ woolly, cuddly creature knitted his brow and practically turned himself inside-out belting a classic Bonnie Tyler/Tina Turner power ballad. This old-school soulman/showman was working up a sweat! “I think we’ve got an icon on our hands,” declared Jenny.
The clues: He hit the scene as a young and handsome “epitome of style,” but then his “whole world unraveled” and he ended up homeless, “hanging on by a thread.” Eventually he rebounded, and now he’s back on top as an in-demand collaborator among music’s elite. Visual clues included a train, an alarm clock with its hands pointed at 8 and 2, a blue vinyl record, and a rabbit in a magician’s hat.
Judges’ guesses: Aaron Neville, Ron Isley, Eddie LeVert, Charlie Wilson, Nile Rodgers, Verdine White.
My guess: Both Ron Isley and Charlie Wilson have been homeless, have songs with “Magic” in the title, and have many A-list collabs to their credit. So, they’re both solid guesses. But while Isley has worked with Warren G, Keith Sweat, Patti LaBelle, and Kelly Price, Wilson’s even more illustrious collaborative roster includes Justin Timberlake, Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, Chance the Rapper, Nas, T.I., and Tyler, the Creator. Plus, Charlie just played the Blue Note Festival and had a hit with the Gap Band in ‘82 called “Party Train.” So, after weaving together all of these Ugly Sweater clues, I’m going with Mr. Wilson.
Lovebird, “Home”
Sorting of look like last year’s Macaw (aka David Archuleta) on steroids and chirping a song by another American Idol, Phillip Phillips, this feathered friend clearly wasn’t a professional singer. But while he probably wouldn’t make it out of the American Idol audition room with a Golden Ticket, he delivered a decent performance while perched in his golden onstage cage. He sounded sincere, and quite young, and Robin loved his “beautiful tone.”
The clues: This “hopeless romantic” and “leading man” has achieved “success in many fields,” and has even won awards for being lovable, but until recently he was a failure when it came to romance; the Lovebird was always flying solo. Visual clues include a groom standing alone atop a wedding cake, a watch with “#1” on it, a pair of sneakers, two dice that added up to five, and roses.
Judges’ guesses: Travis Kelce, Odell Beckham Jr., Nick Viall.
My guess: Viall is a decent guess, because I do think this is a jilted fan favorite from Bachelor Nation. But we all know Nick was never a fan favorite and never won any Most Lovable trophies. So… could it be former fan favorite and Reality TV Awards/MTV Movie & TV Awards winner Colton Underwood, who has actually recorded with boy band O-Town and got married last year? The judges all seemed convinced that the Lovebird is a football player, so that tracks. Colton is my tentative guess.
Tune in next week, as a new flock of mystery celebs, Group B, takes the stage.